​When I think I have no words

Father. I come to you with a heavy heart today. A horse I know is sick. The worse thing that can happen is happening and Lord I am out of words.

My heart aches for both of them. I know the mares' sweet and kind eye. I know her nickers and I just take care of her….. I know the kindness in her riders heart, in her hands and in her heart. I have no words.

I work with them everyday day. Roll my eyes at their antics. Laugh at their silliness. Comfort them when scared. Help them when in pain. And here I am helpless....and yet again I have no words.

I ask my heart and I pray - Give me the strength and the wisdom to know what to do and what to say. Let your words be like salve for their hearts. May it start the healing process...May the doctor's hand have super natural healing….May they know that alone they are not...may she know a miracle...perhaps…I may have some words…

“Do you give the horse its strength or clothe its neck with a flowing mane? Do you make it leap like a locust, striking terror with its proud snorting? It paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength, and charges into the fray. It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing; it does not shy away from the sword. The quiver rattles against its side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement it eats up the ground; it cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds." Job 39:19-25

And lord, as I read and reflect on this Bible scripture I want you to know that I have benefited from this wonderous creation called horse…I have borrowed from their strength when I have had none. When my knees where weak, my stomach full of butterflies, my hands shacking and my heart aching….their manes have caught all my fears. Their manes have allowed my hands to caress, grab and hold on tight. Their manes have accepted my tears and my hugs and my kisses. I have petted them a million times and I thank you for it.

I love how you made the horse laugh at fear, for the ones I ride are pretty chicken but I as I sit here today, I maybe, think you meant the other type of fear, for they take nothing for granted and face each day boldly...and they live in the moment. That's what makes them fearless.

A war horse is what you described and a war horse is what I've become. Give me the strength that seems to have left my body. Better yet just be there with us...

And when it's my turn to make these choices, as I have made a choice to share my life with them, know that I have loved them deeply. I have spent a lifetime trying to understand them...I humbly ask and hope to see them at heaven's gate...hoofs thundering, eating up the ground as I make my way to them. Reunited once again, free from pain and able to ride like we did when we were on earth. And if I'm not made for heaven, please Lord allow me to see them just once more in all your glory. In your name we pray.